The Perfect Wedding

{Instagram} @fotoexpressionPeople sometimes come up to us and say things like, ‘Oh, I hated my wedding day’, or ‘It was such a bad day for me’, or even worse, ‘I wish I could get married again’.

We’ll just ask them this: ‘Are you married? Mission accomplished, then!’

Why do we throw a big party when someone gets married? Well, once upon a time it sealed families and it was a good reason to get drunk and exchange goats for the bride. We’re over that, but we kept the party for sure. It’s just a ritual. It’s just an event. It happened, it is over, and that’s the ball game.

Most people have a bad time at their prom night in high school. Some people do get unforgettable experience, but for most of us it was bad music mixed with bad punch and awkward suits. New Years Eve always sucks. No matter what plans and resolutions you make, you’re almost always nonplussed at the outcome.

Expectations are the breeding ground of disappointment. But you didn’t get those expectations on your own. Every movie, every sitcom, tells you that your WEDDING has to be special. It has to be big and grand and beautiful and everything your younger self has ever dreamt of. And it is, I guess. But when expectations don’t meet reality we feel like we’ve failed. Except you didn’t. You expected one thing, you got another, and you’re sad. But you didn’t fail.

Your real life is what it is and sometimes it goes badly and you just have to laugh it off. Your wedding day, no matter how big it was supposed to be, after all is just another day in your life. Right now, right at this moment, and maybe a year from now, maybe it won’t be a funny story. But give it five years, a decade. In a decade, you’ll be sitting around a card table telling a funny story of how your wedding happened and it will be just as valuable, just as precious, as the good stories in your life that you might have. You’ll even pull out the photos as proof. Thank God if those were good photos, but even if those were not, so what? You still got the feeling, the memory, and those are things that can’t be erased. It’s part of your experience. Life is just a series of experience, after all. Good, bad and indifferent.

So, if it rains buckets and most of your guests leave, and the photographers can’t catch good photos, or the cake gets ruined or the dress stained, or someone throws up on my shoes… I’m still going to have an amazing wedding, with the person I’ve chosen. It just doesn’t matter as much. You told your soul mate you’re with him or her until the end. And if you did that, the rest of the party is just icing on the cake.

A marriage is supposed to be more beautiful than your wedding, after all.

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